


Motherhood

by Trekflower (TrekFlower)



Series: Baby Spark [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Children, Dinner, F/M, Fluff, New Earth, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Wine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 22:55:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20478824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekFlower/pseuds/Trekflower
Summary: Chakotay found a baby while Voyager was docked at the Markonian outpost. He and the Captain are going to continue their conversation over the days events.Sequel toFatherhood





	Motherhood

**Author's Note:**

> This is for those who wanted to see J/C continued conversation. The Sequel to [ Fatherhood ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20277508) that I wrote as part of a month prompt tumblr challenge.
> 
> *Disclaimer: CBS and Paramount own Star Trek. I am just borrowing for fun. All I get is your enjoyment!

I press my hand to the door pad with a bottle of wine in the other. My stomach is doing flips as I wait in the hallway for him, though I don't know why. There is nothing out of place to Chakotay's invitation to dinner and I was here earlier today. So why is it that tonight I feel about ready to jump out of my skin? 

Perhaps it's the excitement of the Markonian outpost, or the uneasy feeling I sometimes get as a hectic day slowly settles. I can't shake the feeling that I should be doing something productive for the ship rather than engage in social calls with my first officer. Or maybe I feel uneasy about the spontaneity of the request, since I distinctly remember us eating a rather salty dish of Ratatouille the other night. Chakotay was too polite to tell me my dish was assaulting his mouth, as it was my night to host. But he graciously brought a remarkable bottle of cider which we finished off instead of the meal. The bottle chills my hand and I fidget with my uniform as his door slides open. 

Chakotay greets me with a large smile, his dimples on full display that I admire so much. I hate it when he shy's them away from me as he so often does. He's dressed in civilian clothing, a black v-neck sweater that clings to his body in all the right places. 

The image of him cradling the alien baby flashes across my mind and my heart skips a beat. Damn it. Pull yourself together Kathryn. I haven't been this flustered in a long time, command school tends to train that out of you, but right now I feel like a teenager. A nervous flighty freshman standing before the school’s senior star athlete. Maybe I should give him a rain check. Tell him the bottle is my way of an apology for canceling. Give myself some time to collect my nerves. 

He ushers me inside before I can make a graceful escape and I hand him the wine. I didn't think to dress differently for the occasion, we are usually in uniform during our weekly dinners. Though we are not on duty, the uniform helps me to maintain the line between captain and friend. This is our second meeting this week, clearly he wants to leave rank elsewhere tonight. 

"It smells wonderful Chakotay," I inhale deeply. Chakotay's cooking almost makes being stuck in the Delta Quadrant worth it. His brown eyes smile inviting me deeper into his quarters. "You look nice, is there something special I'm not aware of?" I ask trying desperately to sound indifferent. 

"Oh this," he gestures to the remarkable looking sweater knit. "No, the baby had a little accident and I didn't feel like replicating a new uniform till tomorrow’s shift." He opens the bottle pouring us both a glass. He hands me the drink and I absentmindedly rest a hand appreciatively on his bicep. The long sleeves of his shirt are rolled up. The material is light and I can't help but notice his tone arms beneath the fabric. He cups a hand over mine and gives me another smile. Damn those dimples. They must drive every woman, and a few men, on this ship wild. I don't think I'll ever tire of seeing them. 

"I have dinner in stasis, I was hoping we could chat first." I nod then take a sip of the wine. He has a mischievous look in his eye, I saw it this afternoon with the baby in hand and it reminded me of our time on New Earth. It was the same look when he snuck around in the woods for three days building me a bathtub. Chakotay's first attempts to get me to accept the planet as our permanent home for the rest of our lives.

We sit on the couch beneath his viewport. The commander's room is similar to mine, all though not as large. As captain, I do have that one little perk remaining. I ask, "What's on your mind Chakotay?"

"Well I did say I wanted to continue our conversation," he rests an arm along the back of the couch his body turned into mine. 

"Alright, what exactly did we forget to say?" I am honestly not sure what else there was. Chakotay expressed his desire to be a father, for which I believe he would make a great one, than invited me to dinner. 

"I told you it was surreal having you in my quarters bringing me a bottle," he began. I remember the conversation. It was only a few hours ago, in this very spot in fact. Only the baby and the commander's red uniform are missing. 

"Why did it feel so out of place for you?" I ask before taking another sip of wine. 

"Kathryn," he inches closer to me to set down his glass. "That’s just the thing. It didn't feel out of place for me. It felt right, natural. I don't know how to put it," he pauses. I can see him working through his next words. Chakotay is a thoughtful man, thinking before speaking, a great quality in a first officer. "I've thought about children. And I've thought about them growing up on Voyager. It might take us 60 years to get home and if that is the case it’s time to think realistically about the future."

I down the rest of my drink. So this is what he wanted to talk to me about. He wants to start a family on Voyager. Good for him I suppose. Although, who is the young woman he has in mind?

"If you’re looking for my blessing Commander, I won't give it." The rank slips out and he looks surprised. "I won't give it because I think you would make an amazing father and I'm not going to pigeon hole you or any other crew member in their desire to have children while on board. We are in a unique situation. I'm hopeful we'll get home one day. But you're right, we don't truly know how long that will be. You shouldn't make this choice based on what your Captain thinks but on what you and your partner decide." 

I take a slow breath. Downing the rather large glass on an empty stomach maybe wasn't the best idea. 

"That’s just it Kathryn," he sighs dropping his head, collecting another round of thoughts. I go for my glass again forgetting it is already empty. Damn it. Chakotay’s journey to fatherhood must be happening sooner than I expected. I can't be too surprised. I told him people would eventually pair off. I was stupid to hold out hope that Chakotay might be the exception, that _we_ would be the exceptions. 

I fight down the pain of emotions. Should I be angry at him, or jealous at the woman that has caught his eye? No. It is the sadness I try to mask with the knowledge that once Chakotay starts his family, I'll be left alone. Alone at my post safeguarding my flock as we journey home. 

My mind wanders to what that lonely future looks like when I hear, "Do you want children?" His eyes are locked onto mine. They are so intense I almost shy away. 

"I will consider it when we are back on Earth," I answer quietly, my fingers playing with the stem of the glass.

He covers my hands with his, pulling my attention to him. "No Kathryn I mean right now."

"Do you not trust me to get us home?" The question comes out harsher than I mean it to. 

"Kathryn... I told you once that I can't sacrifice the present for a future that may never come. I believe we will make it home, I believe you will get us there but it’s a question of when."

I pinch the bridge of my nose to think. Why did I drink the wine so quickly? It loosens my tongue before I can give a neutral answer. "What answer do you want from me Chakotay?"

"I want to know if you thought about having children now. If you want them. What about New Earth? Surely you must have thought about it?" He takes the glass from my hand and entwines our fingers. It surprises me, but I don't hate it. 

The wine continues to work its evil on my tongue. "Of course I thought about the future with you, one that included children on New Earth," I confess. "I wanted them to have all the best parts of you, to have your brown eyes and matching black hair. Colored with carmel skin and your gentle disposition. I wanted them to have all of you. I dreamt about it, felt joy in the prospect."

I can't help but stare at our joined hands. His ruff skin enclosed over mine, his closeness setting my skin on fire. Why couldn't he have been in uniform? It would have made this so much easier. To remind myself he is my first officer, my subordinate, my friend. 

"So yes, I thought about it. Yes I want them, and yes I thought about having your children on New Earth. But-"

He places a hand across my cheek, his thumb over my lips to stop my words. His touch is warming, it takes all I have not to part my lips to nibble on it. I haven't had a meal in a while, but I could wait and have Chakotay for dessert. 

I can't believe where my mind is going. These are fantasies that should be left in my bedroom when I am alone, not prowling around at the forethought of my brain whilst he is seated before me, the very person of those desires.

He leans in close, our faces centimeters apart. "Kathryn, I'm going to kiss you now," his voice soft. "Then we will eat and redefine our relationship parameters." 

I nod closing my eyes as his lips press into mine. My mind clears and my muscles relax. Everything about his kiss felt right, felt natural. I was wrong for pushing him behind a line of duty. A man is only truly attractive when he is holding a baby in his arms. I think it’s time to keep Chakotay’s arms full of children from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos give me joy and keep me going. Thanks for reading :-)


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